Archive for August, 2009
Change the Domain Suffix on your iPhone
Posted by John Nemec in Technology on August 31st, 2009
As we all know, not every website ends in .com. Sometimes they can end it net, edu or org. Did you know with the iPhone you are not stuck with just the .com button! Next time your typing in a domain name try holding down your finger on the .com button to change the domain suffix, you should get three other options, NET, EDU and ORG. This may help save you a little bit of time, or at least type a little less.
Be adventurous! Try this with other keys, like the ‘N’ for instance. Just hold it down and see what pops up.
Just completely lazy and just tired of typing .com at all? Try just typing the name of the site and hit go, and your iPhone will add the WWW and COM for you! Go ahead, try it, type JohnNemec into the address bar! If you end up somewhere other than JohnNemec.com, please let me know, I’ll have to hunt someone down. Keep tappin.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Just A Funny Email I Received
Posted by John Nemec in My Boring Life on August 28th, 2009
A bunch of one-liners that were sent to me in an email. Normally I just throw these away, but for whatever reason I read it and it made me laugh.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from; this shouldn’t be a problem….
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
- There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this,ever.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner
Popularity: 3% [?]
Norton Broke Into My House
Posted by John Nemec in My Boring Life on August 26th, 2009
I was sleeping soundly the other night, happily dreaming about something interesting like the end of the world or superheroes, when my wife suddenly woke me up.
“John, JOHN! There is someone in our house!”
OK, I’m up. You said the magic words. Adrenalin running through my veins, I’m ready to kill. It’s funny, I wasn’t thinking of it at the time, but I just wrote a post about this.
I start creeping out of my bedroom, no weapon in hand but ready to use whatever ninja moves I’d seen on TV. That’s when I noticed, my wife was right on my heals. It was a wonderful feeling, together we would defend our house, we would die together. We were the Incredibles! As I walked down my hall, she split from me and I realized that she was going to the kids room, ready to claw out the eyes of anyone that enters. She had no interest in fighting with me, I’d been trumped by my two-year-old.
Clearing my thoughts, like master Yoda taught me, I was one with the force, ready to strike down anyone who crossed my path. Then I heard the noise, it came from the computer room.
I could barely hear the noise through the pounding of my heart, but someone was definitely going through my stuff! Now that someone is going to die tonight, or I’ll die trying. No one will break into my house and get away with it. I’m sure if I win my family will come visit me in jail. Just once a year on my birthday is all I ask. They can even move on, get a new father/husband, and hopefully that person would do the same.
As I approached the room, I heard the noise again. It was exactly the same as last time. The criminal must be really interested in whatever he’s doing. I threw the door open and flipped on the light as fast as I could. I was ready to pounce, kick, claw, bite, punch, whatever it took to take this guy down.
Nothing.
There was no one there. I swear I heard something from this room! I looked around, there was nowhere to hide. Then I heard the noise again, and nearly hit my head on the ceiling, and I knew that this was it. I’m dead.
But I lived. It was my computer’s DVD player opening and closing.
Feeling a little stupid, and a little betrayed by my computer, I sat down to see what was going on, and to angrily shut it down. I was determined to click the mouse buttons VERY hard!
Norton AntiVirus wanted to backup my computer. It wanted 9 DVDs from me and a few hours of my time. I don’t want to do that! If it’s on my computer and not backed up on a server somewhere, it’s probably not that important to me. Annoyed enough, I held down the power button for the 5 seconds and shut that box down with a vengeance.
The house was safe for now. I had defeated my foe. I sent my wife off to bed, made sure the kid was still asleep. After double checking all the locks in the house, I went to bed as well.
The next day, I went back to the computer. Norton still wanted my DVDs. I couldn’t find a way to stop it. I can cancel it, but now every day it asks me for DVDs. I’m nearly ready to give in, but if anyone knows how to stop this, please fill me in. And yes, I know, I’m leaving myself open to, “Just Uninstall Norton Moron”, and I will once it expires.
Popularity: 4% [?]
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